This Books is Full of Spiders Review

I was very surprised to find out that one of my favorite books as of late, John Dies at the End, had a sequel coming out.

Not to be outdone by the first book in the series, This Book is Full of Spiders was full of absolutely mind-bending fun.  Rather than the rambling movement toward a terrifying conclusion that John Dies had, this book was a much more structured affair.  I use this term loosely, of course, because we have switching narrators, pages from fictional novels, posts from fictional blogs, and top-secret transcripts from conversations of military personnel.

It was comforting to see all the old characters back in pretty much the same shape as we left them.  It would appear that things in “undisclosed” haven’t changed at all since the terrifying events of the previous novel.  There is plenty of referencing of the previous novel, but enough explanation that a new reader might get what is going on.  But I am honestly of the opinion that if you are going to read a series you need to start it from the beginning.

Things escalate very quickly in this novel and never slow down.  Just when you think you have a handle on what is happening something completely disturbing and unsettling throws you right off the scent again.  I am still haunted by some of the imagery created and I finished this book weeks ago.

Just like the first novel there really isn’t a lot I can say about this book without giving away everything.  It is some of the strangest and yet most brilliant writing I’ve seen in a long time.  Every piece of the novel is strategic for the conclusion and so anything I say could potentially be a spoiler.  You definitely don’t want to have anything spoiled for you in this novel so I think I need to leave it at that.  Just read these books!  Not for the faint of heart but so worth it!

My Rating:  Five Stars

My Reasoning:  Absolutely satisfying sequel to the first novel.  How often can you say that?  Both hilarious and horrifying with enough twisting and turning that you never get bored.

My Recommendations:  Fans of cracked.com, fans of the first novel, anyone that can handle some horror and dick jokes.

Wallbanger Review

http://aliceclayton.com/books/wallbanger/

Ohh…you read that right.  There is a book with the title Wallbanger and it is worth reading!  I had all intentions of posting this review before the dreaded “singles awareness day”, but my lovely little 6 month old had other plans for me.  At any rate I finished Wallbanger the day after Valentine’s Day and have since been stewing and working on my review.

You see, dear readers, Wallbanger comes from an ever-increasing group of what I’m calling “fanfiction first authors”.  Like Cassandra Clare (Mortal Instruments), E.L. James (50 Shades), and apparently this Christina Lauren woman (Beautiful Bastard) – Alice Clayton was a very famous fanfiction author before her novels were published.  Said novels were also fanfiction first before having the names changed and being published.  You can read my…opinionated reviews on these authors at your own leisure, but know that I do not hold Alice Clayton in the same category as those other fine ladies.

I really like Alice Clayton.  She was always extremely nice to me in our email exchanges when Wallbanger was still a Twilight Fanfiction story.  She also had no pretenses of hiding the fact she intended to publish using different names.  Nor did she forget to thank the “banger nation” in her published novel.  In my opinion she played the game extremely well, and I have nothing but respect for that.

That being said, I still can’t help but feel on the fence about this whole “fanfiction first author” situation.  It’s not quite big enough to be gaining media attention but I feel like it might be changing the face of publishing.  Well at least publishing in the romance novel genre.  I have had conversations with my casual reader friends, my MFA friends, and even my husband and family and there doesn’t seem to be any kind of hot and fast reaction.  What initially seems like disgust soon turns into begrudging respect, and what is initially indifference soon turns into misguided dollar signs.  Just like the current state of Hollywood, anyone who isn’t a book/writing snob like me (self-proclaimed of course) seems to think I should be able to publish something because these women did.  The brutal truth is I wish I had something worth publishing – but mostly for the same reasons I wish I had anything worth publishing.  I want to be published, all writers do, but I think my hang up on the “fanfiction first author” publishing’s is this – it was fanfiction.

Fanfiction is something sacredly geeky.  It’s the place you can escape to when you need to geek out about your beloved fandom without being made fun of.  There is no judgment in fanfiction-land.  There is something for everyone…and I mean EVERYONE.  You can write about anything, you can make the characters do things you would never show to another soul, you can make all sorts of fandom’s intertwine and people BELIEVE it!  It’s this magical place where you can be your best self and no one will shame you.  Because even if someone does you just hide them and carry on in your own little world.

Having a novel that was beloved within fanfiction-land taken from us, doctored up for the mass media, and given (usually) a complete name change breaks that bond between writer and reader in this little world.  Most unfortunate of all once these stories make it on to the written page they are pulled, in their entirety, from the Internet forever.  I understand why this needs to happen but there is still a part of me that wishes I could go back and visit that story on the screen.  There is a strange, feverish, all encompassing feeling when you see that your favorite online story has been updated.  Perhaps knowing you can’t even reminisce of that by visiting the site anymore is what I miss most when these stories finally get to ‘the big show’.

All things considered I still really love Alice Clayton, and Wallbanger even more.  My friend and I would have an absolute conniption fit every time we received the email that it updated.  There would be a text message from one to the other with just one word: Wallbanger.  All other things in our life stood still while we would read the chapter and then spend the rest of the day texting back and forth what we thought.  It was a magical time.  I am happy to report that the same magic has been captured again on the page with this publication.

The only critique I have, which was the same with the online version, is the last third of the novel.  There is a bit of a pacing issue, as well as what I feel was forced drama for the sake of plot.  As well as a level of believability at the end that even I could not look beyond, but it’s a romance novel so I’m not going to even go there.  It is still a fantastic novel with authentic and likeable main and supporting characters.  There is a fantastic use of show not tell for all the settings, and wicked sharp humor.  And the banter….oh the banter.  Alice Clayton is a master of banter.  This novel will make you yearn fondly for the days of when you were wooed, or if you are single make you feel optimistic that decent guys still exist in this world.

I’m still not sure where I’m at with the “fanfiction first author” situation but if every author could have the same grace and talent as Alice Clayton I think publishing would be in a much better place.  Read This Book!

My Rating:  Four Stars

My Reasoning:  Other than what I perceived as pacing, drama, and believability issues at the last third still an excellent book.  The chemistry, the banter, and the writing are absolutely swoon-worthy.  Must read for a steamy little treat.

My Recommendations:  Single and taken ladies that need a little fire and romance in their life.  Wallbanger is just what you didn’t know you were looking for.

Don’t Feed the Trolls

Part Three in my Fanfiction Series

readmorewritemorethinkmorebemore.blogspot.com

I will be honest with you – I really enjoy constructive criticism.  It’s the only real way to improve as a writer and to grow as a person.  What you are doing isn’t always right, and if someone can professionally and constructively tell you how to improve why not take it?  If you do follow my blog you might have seen that there has been, on occasion, readers who have disagreed with my review of a novel.  That is totally fine!  And I have encouraged those exchanges between us.  Mostly because it was done professionally and constructively, but also because I always like to get into a bit of a debate about books.

But – all bets are off when it comes to Fanfiction-land.  Fanfiction is like message boards – it’s where Trolls are born and thrive.  What’s a Troll you ask?  Well a Troll, in terms of online communities, is a person that purposefully and with malice attempts to antagonize and instigate any kind of exchange with the author or fans of a community.  You’ll see trolls on message boards usually broadcasting some kind of ridiculous conspiracy theory, or even going so low as to call everyone “retarded”, “gay”, or “stupid”.  In Fanfiction-land Trolls take on a different entity entirely.

Usually Fanfiction trolls are methodical with their postings.  You do get the occasional, “your story is retarded”, but those are so easy to just brush off.  It’s the real Fanfiction trolls that get under your skin.  Here is how you know you are dealing with a Fanfiction troll:

1. They do not sign in to their account to leave the review
2. The name they choose to post as changes every time but you can tell by the writing it’s the same person
3. It’s never anything actually constructive they are saying – more a stream of conscious ranting
4. They obviously are not enjoying the story but continue to review with their ranting in order to get a rise out of you
5. What starts as just stream of conscious ranting soon turns into actual attacks on yourself and your writing ability

Believe me and heed what I am about to tell you:  DON’T FEED THE TROLLS!

This is exactly what they want you to do.  They want you to have a gut reaction and immediately respond to their awful review. They want you to get all worked up about what they said and attack them back.  They are banking on you being sensitive about your work and want to further crush you by being ridiculous and mean.  You can NOT stoop to their level.  You can not engage them at ALL.  You must ignore their reviews altogether as if they doesn’t exist.

michaelcarusi.com

You can NOT delete their reviews either.  This will only create an even worse situation where the troll now feels as if they can attack you maliciously because you “can’t handle someone not liking your story”.  They never actually left anything constructive but in their warp, twisted minds, they think their ranting is constructive.  If you delete the reviews it will only make it worse.

The only way to ensure a troll leaves you alone is to ignore them altogether.  Hence – don’t feed the trolls.  Do not give them anything to work with.  It’s going to kill you.  You’re going to be walking around your house mumbling responses you want to give.  You are going to stare at your computer screen thinking you could take on this troll with your cunning and wit.  You are going to be snappy and irritated because they got under your skin.  But you MUST NOT do anything.  Once the troll realizes they will not get any kind of response from you they will move on and leave forever.

Being trolled is a test as a writer.  With even a little success under our belts we start to get a bit of a bloated sense of self.  You start to believe you really are amazing and award worthy.  A troll appears in your writing life to test your level of humility.  You must be able to graciously let this glide past you as if you never thought of it twice.  It is only when you can completely ignore a troll that you can pat yourself on the back for being a good writer.  I say this because if you have a troll on your story for more than one chapter – it was good enough for even the troll to keep reading.

Stay strong my friends and happy writing!

Goodreads Failure for 2012

I try to read a lot and because of that join the Goodreads Challenge every year.  2011 I read 16 books (goal was 15).  2012 held the goal of 17…and I only read 13.  I managed to sneak in three more books on a sick day I had right before the Christmas holiday but 13?!  I mean…I’m not counting all the children’s books I’ve been reading but I still felt like a total failure.

Reading is part of my identity and to have somewhat lost that because of all the time and attention my son needs was a pretty hard blow to recover from.  I kept reading over and over that as a new mom I need to make sure I still carve out time to myself to keep my singular identity whole.  I would roll my eyes thinking there is no way that would ever happen to me.  Yet, there I was looking at my Goodreads total for last year thinking…’this is pathetic, you really need to take out more time for yourself’.

Honestly – I blame Pinterest and Netflix.  It is so much easier to just zone out in front of a screen instead of engaging in a book.  The almost Guantanamo-like sleep deprivation a new baby gives you leaves little brain cells to accomplish something as engaging as reading.  But now that my son is starting to get an independent streak I have a feeling I will finally be able to emerge from this haze of “the fourth trimester” and finally get back to being me.

Not reading 17 books is a failure, but the reasons why are so much more rewarding that I don’t really mind.  Let’s hope the books for this year will be much more engaging, and obviously not so many.  Happy reading to all of you in the coming year!

City of Fangirl Wrath…

As The Mortal Instrument series has progressed I have become more and more angry with the books.  As you can see in two of my reviews on this website.  I have even blogged about my gut reaction of “they casted WHO???!!!”  But I was still holding out hope that perhaps – just perhaps- I would be pleasantly surprised when the first trailer rolled around.  My friend informed me of the joyful news this morning and as I finished watching the final few seconds all ideas of a fantastic movie accompanying an awesome book series were shattered.

Maybe I’m being too harsh, maybe I’m being a bitter fangirl full of wrath.  It happens, I know we all have at least one friend that is so obsessed with something you tip-toe around the subject so not to poke their ire.  And I will admit that I tend to get a little hot headed about all things young adult; but I have a blog about it so it’s kind of my hobby and business to know.  I know that I’m spoiled from Harry Potter.  It’s not everyday that you get a 90% satisfaction feeling from a movie franchise that was based on the books (I still can’t watch Deathly Hallows Part 2 all the way because I don’t want it to be over!)  But surely we have seen, as a society and as directors and producers, what good casting and script writing can give you!  Holy hell even good casting and mediocre screen writing can get you *coughTwilightcough*.  WHY oh WHY do we keep getting these awful attempts at awesome books?

All the pieces are there: up and coming lead actress, recognizable and rising lead actor, director coming off a success, screenwriter that has a history of success, even the supporting cast looks incredibly promising.  Yet here we are with the first trailer and I am still completely underwhelmed.  Maybe it was bad editing of the trailer, there was a lot of ‘flashes’.  But what I really think is happening is this – Hollywood wants it cash.  The Mortal Instruments series has been a great success on paper so naturally any producer in Hollywood looks at it and thinks TWILIGHT.  Can we all stop comparing everything to Twilight now.  That ship has sailed, the cash cow is over, the teen book/movie bubble has popped.  The only way you are going to ensure that you have success with a book to movie adaptation is if you at least attempt to stay true to the novels.

From panarmenian.net

I think my problem is I just don’t believe in the casting.  For all I know this is a page by page adaptation that was meticulously overseen by Claire herself.  It could possibly be the best adaptation ever and I’m just stabbing it in heart before it can make it out of the coffin.  But this is the main reason why I think it’s going to sizzle and then snuff out quickly in the box office – Jace.  You don’t read The Mortal Instruments series for Clary…you don’t.  While her casting is spot on and I am actually interested to see what Lily Collins will bring to the table that’s not the reason you slog through 600 pages every book.  You do it for Jace Wayland.  If I can’t look at the actor playing Jace and believe that he is Jace then you have no movie.  It might be personal preference but a guy that is known for being the snooty Volturi and jumping out a window in a Harry Potter movie just isn’t going to cut it for me.

There…fangirl wrath extinguished.  Here’s hoping I can find a babysitter to catch the matinée before it limps out of theaters.

New Motherhood

Check out another post I’ve done for Project Lola - New Motherhood.

Mark of Athena

Disney Hyperion

There are a lot of things about being a new mom that you have to adjust to.  I expected the sleepless nights, the bone throbbing exhaustion, the endless amount of diapers and bottles – I even knew that my social life would change and I needed to embrace it.  What I hadn’t expected was something I’ve now found I have taken for granted before having a baby – reading.  That’s right, the simple act of reading.  I could fly through a novel in a day or two back in the old days.  But now it has taken me almost two weeks to read a novel that I have been BURNING to read – The Mark of Athena.  It wasn’t until I managed to get my kid into a milk coma and kept the house silent that I was able to finally finish this book on Friday (October 26^th). 

Let me start by saying the sleep deprivation and constant gurgling needs of a two month old might skew this review a little bit – but I’m going to try my best.  We have SEVEN main characters now, and I mean main characters not supporting cast.  Each one is developed and explored throughout the novel and we see them grow from whom we knew them as in the first two books (and first series for Annabeth and Percy).  This tale in the series is told through the POV of Annabeth, Leo, Piper and Percy.  Knowing that Annabeth is a daughter of Athena you pretty much assume she’s going to be the leader of this quest but you’d be wrong. 

Perhaps it was the balancing act of seven main characters, perhaps it’s because this is an obvious transitional book for the next in the series, perhaps it was because my son would only let me read this book as I carried him around in a baby bjorn – but it felt oddly disjointed this time.  The use of the multiple narrators has been amazing in the past two books but this time, with so many missions and so many characters, I kept getting a little confused and at times even felt a little slighted at not getting to read about EVERY mission and battle.  Granted – we see all the big, important ones, but I was getting used to staying with the whole group throughout the whole novel, not so much in Mark of Athena.

Baby Bjorn – now imagine holding a book in one hand and walking around your house while reading aloud – MOTHERHOOD!!

I’m not saying it was bad – on the contrary I had several moments of silent squeals of joy (baby attached to me, remember), but it felt like it was on the verge of chaos the entire novel.  Maybe that was the point.  Seven powerful demigods, from both camps, working together against the forces of evil seems like the edge of chaos to me.  Yet, it was all well maintained and ended up giving the novel this kind of nervous energy that you know all the main characters had.

I’m not going to reveal any spoilers because I am a huge fan of Rick Riordan as well as Percy and company.  But I will tell you this…the most epic love story of all time is being written in these novels and I think it’s a shame that people don’t know about that.  Twilight, Harry Potter, Jane Austin, hell even Danielle Steel have nothing compared to Percy and Annabeth.  I’m not just saying this because I’m a fan – I’m an admitted Harry Potter addict and I still feel this way.  I honestly can’t even tell you half the awesome that happens between them in this novel because most of the examples would be full of spoilers.  But I will give you this,

“All around the Romans, Charleston Harbor erupted like a Las Vegas fountain putting on a show.  When the wall of seawater subsided, the three Romans were in the bay, spluttering and frantically trying to stay afloat in their armor.  Percy stood on the dock, holding Annabeth’s dagger.

‘You dropped this,’ he said, totally poker-faced.

Annabeth threw her arms around him.  ‘I love you!’” (Mark of Athena, page 241) 

I am still in awe of how this book ended and I groaned when I realized how long I was going to have to wait for the pick-up of the cliffhanger we were left with.  All in all it’s still an amazing book even if my sleep-deprived mind might have found it disjointed.  As always, Percy Jackson – the hero to end all heroes – receives my highest recommendation.  Really people – you’ve GOT to read these books!

 

Rating:  5 Stars

Reasoning:  Action packed missions, humor and angst, fantastic use of Greek and Roman myths with current ideals and the love story between Annabeth and Percy is completely swoon worthy! 

Recommended:  Everyone and Anyone!